WWW- The introduction is very promising and raises a brilliant question, but you then don't go on to discuss it.
EBI -No where near enough research/ footnotes. This will keep you below level 3
- There is a lack of depth to you analysis and you repeat many points
- You need to find some quality research and build 2/3 paragraphs around theory/ discuss what others are saying.
- The textual analysis describes scenes to me, it doesn't analysis.
- Most importantly, you must discuss the impact on society.
2) In my second draft i am aiming for a low level 3 because i think if i make all the improvements which i have been told to, i should achieve a low level 3.
3) The five things which i will change in my second draft will be:
- Write 2 paragraphs on theory and people views. So i can add the audience and gender theory as it will allow me to link it to my production.
- Make sure that i am analysing not describing the scenes. I will have to make sure i am explaining the impact of the scene.
- Add 1 paragraph about the impact on society.
- Carry out much more detailed research, find some very good quotes which fit with my critical investigation. Add at-least 10 more quotes to the essay so that i can move up a level.
- Make sure i am not wasting words by repeating myself, so i will have to proof read the essay like a few times to make sure i am not repeating myself.
4) Wish list:
From the BFI trip i want to gain some good detailed research and some quotes which i can put into my essay.
I want to gain some knowledge on some new theories which i can fit in my essay.
Finally, i want to get at-least one quote out of 3 books, which will help me improve my level in my second draft.
Book:
Masculinity in the Contemporary Romantic Comedy: Gender as Genre
My critical investigation was on male characters in comedy films and how immature they are represented. For my linked production i will be working with Nadeem and we have thought that we will be producing 30-40 sec adverts on a domistic cleaning product. We will be creating 4 different adverts. The way it would link with my production is through the use of male characters in the adverts. We are not going to have females as our characters but we are going to have males characters as it well sterotype men. This will be the link between my critical investigation and my coursework.
Why are male characters in comedy films represented very immaturely in films like The Hangover?
Angle:
Does having that representation have an impact on men who watch films like this? So does watching films like the Hangover have a big impact on men, does it encourage them in any way to be like that or to act like that. I personally think it does have a big impact on men because men are mostly silly and want to act silly.
Hypothesis:
Films like that are encouraging men to act like that way. Men act like that because they think they would look great by acting that way. Comedy films are represented men very immaturely and this has a really big impact on ordinary men. It is damaging the male characters in general. It makes wanting to be like that.
Linked production piece:
I am thinking of making a comedy film trailer as I think that there would be a perfect link between my choice of topic and my critical investigation. Comedy trailers are hard to make, but I think that if I work hard I would be able to achieve it. The reason why I am thinking of doing a comedy trailer is because I think I would be able to cover all the aspects of male representations in the trailer. I would put trailer as my first thought but I might change it.
MIGRAIN:
Representation: from my text i am talking about male representation and why they are represented very immaturely. It is not fair that males are represented that way and females aren't. Males are most of the time represented very immaturely, in comedy films.
Form:
The denotation of men being represented in that way would be that men are just silly and they do act in that way. The connotation meaning would be that are all men like that, or is it just shown in films.
Narrative:
The narrative is slowly building as the films plays along. The narrative pulls in the audience with the film so it engages them with the film. They do this by many ways, for example they would show something funny or an immature scene then they would show something serious so that it engages the audience with the film. I think by showing men acting that way attracts the audience with the film and it builds towards the film. Villeins are created by doing something bad and heroes are introduced by doing the opposite of that. All of the other mise-en-scene builds the narrative. So if there is a stupid scene they would have stupid music playing in the back as well.
Genre:
The text that i have chose as my primary text is the Hangover which is from the comedy genre.
The main aspect of the genre is to make the audience laugh in an silly way, the have loads of humour in it. The actions are the things which make the audience engage with the genre and they also make them laugh, even if its something horrible. i think the Hangover does fulfill the audience desire for the genre and it meets the audience expectation and probably goes above it.
Institution:
The Hangover was distributed by the Warner Brothers, they are very famous as they been there for a long time and are the producers for most American films, music and other entertainment. The founders of the institution are Albert Warner, Sam Warner, Jack Warner, and Harry Warner.
Values and ideologies:
The values and ideologies are that men cannot do anything, they are cheap people who behave so childish. It gives that value to the audience about the characters in the film.
Media audience:
The film is targeted at 18's, but I think people younger sill have watched it. The target audience for the film is 18-32 mostly males. The demographics for the film I think is C1/C2/D/E. I think this is the right demographics for the film. The psychographics for The Hangover would be Explores, Mainstramers, and maybe struggler's. The audience would take in the text because it makes them laugh and it gives them freedom from their everyday life. I think the males would take in the text how it is because that's how they are everyday. The females might question that why are men so sick because of their actions.
I think their is loads of audience pleasure in the film for the audience. It makes them have an enjoyable time while their watching it. I think the film has power over the audience because the audience have a laugh with the film, that's why the film has power of the audience.
SHEP:
I think I could refer my film back to the social point because there could be a point raised that are all men in the society act like that? Are all Men like that in the society, people would argue that normally men are the people who are meant to be big in the society. Historical: I could quote that the comedy films are improving the representations and how men are represented. So it is improving than before but its quite still not there. Economical would not really go with my question, but political would go with my question because their could be political points that men are the people who females look up to or men are the main players in the society and the industry. If they behave like that how would they be the ones who people look up to.
Issues/debates:
The 4 that relate to my case study are representation and stereotyping, moral panic, media effects, regulation and censorship and changing tech in the 21 century.
My questions involves around representation of men in comedy films, that's why I think that the male representation is comedy films is getting worse and worse. The moral panic and media effects The Hangover creates why are men so disgusting and why are they being represented very cheaply. Is this effecting men in the society to behave like that? Regulation and censorship is also involved in the film because it has content which is interoperate. lastly the change in technology in the 21st century has an effect on the audience because it allows them to relate themselves with the film.
Theories:
Gender and ethnicity would appeal to my film because I could talk about how its always white people in comedies represented the immature way. I could also talk about how its always males who are represented that way. In comedies they always show males characters represented very immaturely, so I could raise the point that why are they represented that way.
Genre theories: I could refer back to my topic that its always in comedy films that male are represented that way. You won't seen males in action films represented very immaturely. So I could raise a point about that its always comedy films.
Audience theory: I could refer to audience theory because once people watch this film they are going to go and talk about it to others. They might even communicate about the film online on social networking sites.
Media text:
My main primary text it the The Hangover. the reason why i have chose this is because I thought their are loads of bits which i could point out about males being represented very immaturely. There are loads of scenes where males are represented very immaturely, that's why I thought of using the The Hangover.
Other text:
The reason why I have chose this as another text to back up my points for the opposite side of the questions, that are females represented immaturely in comedy films.
The reason why i have chose this as another text is because i can talk about the males being represented childish and stupid. Its like how two brothers are represented very childish and silly.
I could also talk about Grown ups and how the male characters are represented in that way.
I could talk about Ted and how the male character acts very childish and immaturely. They show him always drunk and partying. So I could refer this back to my question.
Academic books: Television and Gender representation by John Libbey. It talks about the gender representation and how different genders are represented.
I think my research contributed a lot in my presentation because if I didn't have all of that research I would have had nothing to back my question up with. If I had no research on about of the films, Hangover and the Bridesmaid then I wouldn't be able to back up my question which was why are male characters represented very immaturely in comedy films. I think the research is the main aspect and it shows if you have any knowledge of what you are talking about. If I had no research then I wouldn't have had anything to talk about when I am giving my presentation. So everything which backed my presentation up was the research i had done in advance.
The delivery of my presentation was not the best as it could of been because I think i could of tried harder to deliver a amazing presentation. I think I didn't have much information to cover all of the 15 seconds of talking which had to be done. So i was running of things to say as i was waiting for the slides to change, i think i should of have information which covers at the 13 sec of each slide, even if i was silent for 2 sec there wouldn't have been a problem. I did not have much information on the slides in a way it is a good thing and a bad thing, good because in an ignite talk presentation you cannot have loads and loads of information on the slide, bad because there has to be information which has to cover all the time for the slide so in this case at-least 15 seconds of information. Another thing which i could of done was avoid reading from the board. It was that bad it was all 20 slides which was told to make.
I think that the topic i have chosen is a good topic overall, so its male representation in comedy films. The question is that Why are men in comedy films represented very immaturely? The reason why i chose this area of topic was because i felt that i would feel much comfortable with it. I think i have loads of talk about in this topic and i would hopefully get a really good grade for it. The topic is simply looking at the male representation in comedy films. i think i have loads of text available for me out there. I could use loads of examples from films and other texts from the internet.
I think i can develop this into an essay, as i already have the main point which is male representation. There are loads of things which i could talk about, how men are represented, why are they represented like that, is it done to build upon the narrative. That's why i think this topic is a good topic is just needs loads of research so back it up. There could be loads of issues raised in this essay about male representation and why they are represented in that why.
W.W.W:
* Good choice of topic
* Relevant critical investigation
* Much better when using images
* A good way to talk through the scenes from the films
* Good discussion of relationships in comedy and plus the importance aspect of male friendship
* Great to see the opposite side of the question with representation of women
E.B.I
* Spoke more about my secondary text
*Was reading off the board
*Didn't have much information on each slide
*Couldn't cover the 15 sec per slide fully
* Was running out of information to talk about
I am thinking of doing my presentation on representation of men in comedy films, and my investigation might be on a film like Hangover, as I think that there would be loads of scenes where I could talk about how males representation.
I think that I might be able to do my actual coursework and my 2000 word analysis on how males are represented in comedy films.
